Trash Can Podium and the National Anthem of Puke

Now that I have quit smoking (4 weeks, 2 days and 18 hours ago, yes… cigarettes are like the girlfriend who dumped me), I try to make guests smoke out in the balcony so as not to completely ruin the smoke free / Berry Splash Glade scent mixture in my flat. Since the Israeli winter has decided to stay in Western Europe, much like other smart young citizens, this balcony smoking law isn’t really a bother and it even creates for a voyeuristic experience, like the one on Sunday night…

I was inhaling the exhaled fumes of a certain someone’s cigarette out in the balcony and beneath us, on the street, an old ragged hobo-ish woman walked up to my building’s big green trash cans. She opened one up and started to rummage between the bits of left over spit and diapers. Scavenging through the garbage with her head fully tilted into the belly of the plastic dumpster. Suddenly, she paused, lifted her head up and to the side of the trash can and puked her guts out onto the sidewalk. I was disgusted, my gag reflex was kicking in. My so called friend was laughing hysterically. The woman / creature / troll like figure just took a deep breath and immersed herself into the green fortune chest, looking for her prize. After a few seconds, again, tilt of the head, up and over and evacuation of the stomach.

This went on in cycles as she meticulously searched the insides of these fly ridden canisters. As my desire to hurl finally calmed down, I started thinking of Michael Phelps. This woman had stamina, and she was not giving up. Every time the stench of garbage got too much for her, she lifted her head, as a swimmer does gasping for air, and puked. Revitalizing herself for a few more critical seconds in which she can sink herself back in the trash and look for her hidden treasures. She did not give up, she did not move on to a more aromatic bin, she braved through the stench and scouted the miserable content.

To me this woman is like an Olympian Athlete, the Rocky Balboa of Frug Street Gypsies, Lady Gag Bag.

PS – Idea to self: ‘Survivor 6^th Street – the search for leftovers”

 

 

‘Undies and Ventilators’ Chronicles of an Urban Freelancer in TLV

What do the ‘Jewishly challenged’ construction workers in the adjacent building think when they see me strolling around the house in my underwear at 1 in the afternoon? Do they think Im an overpriviliged, elitist, silver spooned white boy? Do they feel jealous like I do when seeing a peer drive around a $100,000 car? Do they even care? should I even care?

After several years of working in corporate surroundings I’ve found myself freelancing for different firms and consequently working out of my home studio (very near to the Frug St. Chronicles HQ). This has made me appear to people like a bit of a bum. Since my schedule is flexible I can go to the beach, work out, meet friends or even catch a movie during regular business hours but people who grind out 9-5 jobs perceive this lifestyle as un-serious.

In respect I’d like to say that being tanned, working half naked or even just being available to talk on the phone during the day doesn’t make my work ethic diminish. On the contrary. Having so many distractions and still being able to meet deadlines and produce high quality work is much harder this way. I also never waste anyone’s time by surfing the web or small talking to receptionists.

All you enterprised bigots – you have your weekends and I have my whenevers.

Aliens spotted in Tel-Aviv

Our Frug Street Chronicles photographer brings this exclusive footage of aliens marching down a certain avenue of our fair city.

These lovable celebrity life forms, famed for their Facebook adoption campaign, might be planning a SECRET GLOBAL TAKEOVER.. or.. maybe they arrived with a tourist group on the 11 am AirFrance flight (our research team is.. ehm, underfunded)

We would like to conclude with a peaceful note to the aliens:

If you come in peace then.. we have a beautiful country with a beautiful peoples and we recommend you check out Efi’s Sabichhhjjj on Chernijovski near Allenby

If not, we recommend Jerusalem.